I remember giggling at the time but now, seeing him there breathless, with balled fists, all three feet of him in a fit of rage, I remember thinking….
Not feeling like I have the answer, or can fix/help the situation, is a really big trigger for me. I really really dislike feeling like I don’t know what to do.
Very quickly after the unfortunate sneaker incident, this student and I settled into a routine of him removing his shoes and socks before entering my room. Once inside, initiating the session with a gentle foot massage with yummy smelling lotion.
I explained to him that this was to “wake up his feet to get his body ready to work and learn” But more importantly, it was a way for me to build rapport and peacefully disarm the child of his “weapons”.
This cycle of feeling relatively comfortable with my skillset and being able to address most things that come up, and then meeting a student or a situation that I feel at a loss with, then reach for new skills and tools, is something that I have noticed in my work, as well as in my own personal development journey.
There were days when I did not want to see this child. But that was not an option and I needed to find a way to give myself resources to work with this child. I did a lot of brain gym for myself, and I also taught the classroom teacher a lot of brain gym to use with the whole class.
I left that school year a stronger, more resilient and proficient therapist. Our time together gave me the motivation to learn and understand new ways of how to work with him, and other children like him that were sure to follow.
I had a fitness teacher once say to our class,
“Don’t pray for life to get easier, but rather pray for greater strength so that you may be able to meet life better”.
I often hear about people going out of their way to avoid triggers or triggering events. If you go with the fitness analogy, this would be like working out and wishing the weights were not as heavy.
Save for actual concerns for safety, sometimes these triggers can be the best kind of gift if you can find a good way to work with them—which is not spiritual bypassing, avoidance, denial or rationalization.
Not every trigger needs to be managed or mastered. Some people you meet CAN be legitimate A-holes.
And some experiences just plain suck.
If we systematically cut triggers and triggering people/events out of our lives and lived to avoid them, eventually, you may end up with only a narrow subset of people and experiences that you can tolerate before your happiness or sense of equilibrium is lost.
Do you have triggers in your life that change your behaviors in ways where you feel out of alignment with your self?
To what extent do these triggers impact your daily life and interaction with others?
Do these triggers cause you to make special arrangement so you can avoid or not have to interact with this stressor unless absolutely necessary?
How would it feel if this trigger was no longer a issue for you?
When we choose to master certain triggers, it can lead to a sense of relief and freedom because the energy you were using to be vigilant for what you want to avoid can now be spent experiencing the richness that life can offer.
I know from experience that when I balance my brain around a trigger, my automatic reaction will not happen again to that intensity or frequency.
This knowing gives me strength and a sense of empowerment.
If you have been struggling with a trigger for a long time and want a different way to manage and interact with it, let’s set up a time to speak!
Set up your free consultation session HERE!
Here is to greater freedom and ease!